Love Confusion
by SonorousLove
Summary: What happens when Sirius makes out with James but then claims he's in love with Remus? Chaos!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so this is kind of the second half of a different story, and it might confuse lots of people if they don't know the beginning, so here's a brief summary of what has happened previous to the next chapter. But you don't really need to read it, everything is explained eventually.

All the Marauders have been hanging out at Sirius house when his parents are away, and eventually Peter and Remus fall asleep. At that point, somehow James and Sirius become intimate while hanging on Sirius' bed. They kiss and Sirius mentions that he has wanted to kiss James since they met, and James gives Sirius a hand-job. Then…


	2. Chapter 2

James leaned down to kiss him again and as I came close to his face, Sirius said, "I'm in love with Remus."

James stopped, sat up abruptly and looked at Sirius.

"Um..." he looked slightly confused, but other than that his face showed no emotion. "Oh". He said quietly and slowly lifted his knee up to roll so he was no longer straddling Sirius. Sirius just watched silently, not knowing what to do.

As if in a daze, James got up from the bed and slowly made his way out of the room, the door sliding shut behind him behind him, leaving a guilt stricken Sirius lying in the middle of the bed.

James stumbled out into the hall and into the bathroom at the end of the hall. Once inside he leaned against the door and slide down to the floor without turning the lights on, letting out a deep sigh. He pulled his knees up against himself and let his head fall forward onto is knees. 'What the hell just happened!' he thought, 'I mean I guess everything just happened suddenly, but he hadn't resisted me, he even said he had wanted to since we met, right? Was I not supposed to expect anything more than just that? Just lust? Nothing more?' James was so confused. He just sat in the dark not knowing what to do. 'Why would Sirius kiss me if he loved Remus? What do I do? What are _my_ feelings toward Sirius?' James kept thinking about how good it felt to kiss Sirius, and how Sirius had groaned when he came from the feel of James's hand on him. And just how god damn beautiful Sirius actually was.

James felt like shit. He had finally figured out he was in love with his best friend, only to find that this best friend was in love with was in love with someone else, and that someone else happened to be his **other** best friend.

'What am I supposed to do?' James felt the tears slowly leaking onto his face. 'How had it come to this? It all happened so fast.' James heard the creaking of floorboards out in the hallway and quickly tried to wipe the tears from his face.

"James?" came Sirius's hesitant voice and a soft knock on the door. After a pause he continued. "James I know you're in there, please answer me."

James slowly stood once he had wiped his face clean of stray tears, he turned around, took a deep breath, flipped on the lights and opened the door.

"What?" James said staring at Sirius's feet; he couldn't bear to look at Sirius's face.  
>"James, are you okay?" Sirius said quietly.<br>"Fine" he paused, "what do you want?"  
>"James" Sirius said quietly, "you're not fine, your eyes are all red and you were in the bathroom with the lights off."<br>"So…?" James said, no emotion in his voice.  
>"James please talk to me." Sirius begged.<br>What do you want me to say?" James asked, still no emotion detectable in his voice.  
>"I...I...I don't know..." Sirius sighed exasperatedly.<p>

James felt his emotions rising and bubbling inside of him. "What could I possibly say to you that would be positive? I have nothing to say that you _want_ to hear." He said, his voice growing slightly louder, his anger now very apparent.

Sirius hung his head, feeling absolutely horrible. "I'm sorry James." He muttered quietly.  
>James chuckled quietly and forced a smile. "Sorry? Wow Black, great. I feel all better now." His voice dripped with sarcasm.<p>

"James –" Sirius started, but James cut him off.

"No Sirius, I really don't see how any of this could make anything better! I don't get you at all you know? One second you're kissing me like your life depends on it and then next you tell me you're in love with someone else! Are you kidding me! Did you even stop to consider my feelings? Oh no, why would I ask that? Of course you didn't! You never do! You're Sirius Black you never stop to think about the consequences of your actions, as long as you get something out of it at some point! Merlin, what made you think that any of what you did back there was remotely okay!" James's voice had rose to a yell, but he didn't care that he might wake the whole house; he wanted Sirius to hear what he had to say.

Sirius just stood in the middle of the hall silently, taking in everything James was throwing at him.

"Merlin! Why did I even bother! I mean, what did I expect? Its not like you ever commit to ANYTHING, what made me think I could possibly change that! What do you think I am feeling right now! Do you think I feel good? Do you even understand how confused I am right now! What is wrong with you!" Angry tears were now flowing down James face, and Sirius's face was to the floor and his shoulders were slumped.  
>"What the hell guys?" Came Remus's angry voice from the door to the bedroom.<p>

James froze, and Sirius looked up at Remus before asking, "How much of that did you hear?"

"Well I woke up to James screaming something about how Sirius never pays attention to the consequences of his actions." Remus said sternly walking closer to the boys before turning to James. "You know James, you need to shut up, you give Sirius way less credit than he deserves! You have no reason to be shouting bad things about Sirius in the middle of the night!" Sirius's eyes grew wide and he winced at Remus's words, knowing that it would just worsen the hurt that James was feeling.

"Thanks Remus, but I don't think now is the best time." Sirius said quietly touching Remus's arm. James's eyes fallowed the gesture with wide eyes. The anger melted away and a deeply depressed feeling filled his stomach. He retreated into himself, and stepped back, so he was against the wall, he couldn't stop the sob that escaped his mouth. Remus's head snapped back to James with wide eyes.

"I'll just leave you two alone then." James said, voice weak, before he ran down the hall, stumbling quickly down the stairs and out the door, Sirius screamed after him and Remus just stood there, finding no words.

"Shit!" Sirius swore loudly and kicked the wall, then, defeated, he leaned against the wall and slide down to rest on the floor.

"I have a feeling I just made things a whole lot worse." Remus muttered. He turned to face Sirius, "What the hell happened?" He asked quietly, still awestruck from what he had just seen.

Sirius sighed, "Aw hell Mooney, I have no idea how I'm supposed to fix this, I messed up big time." Sirius said desperately.

"Well tell me what happened and I can try to help." Remus said encouragingly and sat down cross-legged in front of Sirius.

"You really don't want to know." Sirius groaned, but at seeing the impatient look on his friend's face he knew he had to. "Well…after you rolled off the bed Prongs and I, we stayed up a bit longer, and we…" he had no idea how he was supposed to say this to Mooney, "well we ended up snogging, and we fooled round a bit…" Sirius said quietly. Remus's face was covered in pure surprise.

"Okay…like what?" Remus urged.

"Well, he…he kissed my neck and…and my chest and then…he jerked me off…" Sirius trailed off, face red. He grimaced at the thought of Remus's reaction.

"Well I have to admit I'm a bit surprised, but I really don't care if you two are together or not, I'm just confused about how it got so bad." Remus told Sirius.

"Well…what happened was, I kid of…I kinda told him I was in love with you." Sirius finished, not looking up to see Remus's face.

"You did WHAT!" Remus screamed after a moment of silence.

"I –" Sirius started again.

"No! I heard you, I just can't believe it." Remus just sat back and thought for a moment. "Oh shit, I _really_ shouldn't have said anything. I totally made the situation worse. I was the last person he would have wanted to see. Shit Padfoot, we made him cry! I've only seen James cry like three times before in all the time we've known him. And that's why he said-! Merlin's beard!"

"Well actually _I_ made him cry Mooney, he was already crying when I found him in the bathroom, you just made it a bit worse. And I'm glad you realize why I told you to stop, but…I just indirectly told you I was in love with you and you've said nothing about, and its kinda freakin me out." Sirius told his friend.

"Well…the thing about that is…I'm kinda with Lily…" Remus said scratching the back of his neck guiltily.

Sirius slowly let the information sink in, "Oh…okay…" Sirius said as if in a trance.

"And that doesn't bug you?" Remus asked incredulously.

Sirius looked up at him, "I…I guess not." He said quietly.

Remus smacked his forehead with his palm, "Sirius you can't just go around saying you are in love with people when you really aren't! Wow…James was right, you don't think about the consequences of your actions."

"Hey!" Sirius interjected. "What happened to you defending me?"

Remus just continued talking as if Sirius had not said a word. "I mean, imagine how Prongs must feel right now. He finally comes to terms with his feeling for you so that he's confident enough to kiss you and…be intimate with you, which, you **let** him do! And then you just go and break his heart like that. What a cruel world. I mean you don't even love me! I cant imagine being in his place, finally getting to be with the person you love and then they tell you its all a lie, wow, he must he hurting."

"Wait, James cant love me…can he?" Sirius interjected.

Remus rolled his eyes at the comment, "He wouldn't have cried his eyes out like that if he didn't!" He told Sirius as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Sirius's eyes widened at the statement.

"James is in love with me…?" He asked quietly. "Remus we have to go find him." Sirius said urgently.

"No offense Siri, but I don't think James wants to see either of us right now. Why don't we give him some time to cool down?"

Sirius pouted but nodded.

"Sirius, do you think I would be possible that you could be in love with James? I mean, you snogged him and he obviously made you very aroused if you came for him, so maybe you really like James, you just didn't want to come to terms with it." Remus suggested.

"I…I don't know, I guess. I do really care for him…and I hated to see him cry, and…Merlin's beard I'm in love with my best friend." Sirius concluded. Why did Remus have to be so right about everything?

Remus laughed at his friend's idiotic-ness, Sirius could be so clueless sometimes.

"So where do you think James ran off to?" Came Sirius muffled voice from behind the hands covering his face.

"Don't know, is there any place close to here he is familiar with? Anyone he knows?" Remus asked. "You are more knowledgeable when it comes to James."

Sirius couldn't help but smile behind his hands. "I don't think so. I mean he could've run off to the woodsy area near hear we roam in sometimes, he could be there in his stag form. But somehow I feel like he wouldn't do that right now, it might remind him too much of us…of me…" Sirius finished sadly.

Remus removed Sirius's hands from his face, "Hey, James loves you, I bet your all he can think about right now, okay? Don't be worried, we'll find him tomorrow morning. Kay?" Sirius just nodded. "Let's go to bed, alright?" Sirius was silent but he let Remus help him up and they returned to the room. Both of them flopping on the big bed in the middle of the room, both realizing how tired they were, it was **very** late.

James felt the waterfall of tears cascading down his face as he raced down the street, not paying any attention to where he was going. When he finally stopped running, he found he had no idea where he was, some random street in the middle of London. James wiped the tears out of his eyes and made his way to the nearest alley. Once safely concealed from anyone who might be watching, not that most muggles were awake at four in the morning, he collected himself, and apparated. The tug behind his bellybutton placed him right on the front step of the Leaky Cauldron.

James slowly stepped inside. The bar was deserted and only a night postman was sitting behind the bar, rather engrossed in a scandalous looking magazine with the words _Witches,__Whips,__and__Wonder_ emblazoned across the top in bright red letters. The raven haired witch, with a very large bust and very little clothing who was standing below the words would soundlessly crack her whip every few seconds.

James cleared his throat and the short man jumped, quickly hiding the magazine underneath the counter, looking rather guilty. He looked like he was about to explain but James just held up a hand.

"No need, I just want a room for the night." James knew he looked like a mess as the man looked at him with surprise.

"Rough night?" He asked.

"Yes, now I just want some sleep," He gestured to the staircase behind him, "a room? Please." The man gave him a sympathetic look and pulled a key down off the rack on the wall and handed in to James.

"Room 8, at the end of the hall on the left." James thanked the man and quickly made his way to the room. Letting himself in, James realized that he could wait to do his thinking in the morning, the bed looked too inviting to pass up.

James awoke the next morning feeling better, he let himself just lay in bed for a minute before he realized where he was, and it all came flooding back: hanging with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, going back to Sirius's place, the four of them collapsing on the bed, Remus and Peter finding it more comfortable on the floor, James and Sirius kissing and fooling around, Sirius's confession, James running, the argument, Sirius and Remus, James leaving.

Now James felt like shit all over again. He looked at his watch, it read 10: 45. 'Maybe I overreacted last night, I was tired. I'll just go back and we'll talk, and whatever happens, happens.' James thought, 'The guys should be awake by now.'

James apparated to the front step of Grimuald Place and knocked on the door. Creature opened the door and let James step inside.

"Mr. Potter sir, the other boys are upstairs sir." James nodded, kicked off his shoes and swiftly made his way up the stairs. As he headed down the hall towards the room they had occupied last night Peter stepped out the door looking sleepy, he gave James a quick wave and groggily made his way to the bathroom. James took a deep breath before stepping into the room.

He pulled open the door and stepped in, ready to explain where he had been and apologize, but James just stoop, mouth gaping at the site of Remus and Sirius snuggled together on the bed in the middle of the room. 'So they didn't even care that I was gone? They just wanted to be together?' James thought bitterly as a few tears leaked down his face. He stood silently at the foot of the bed just watching them for a moment, 'They look so happy, who am I to deny them each other, even if I love Sirius, I want him to be happy I guess. I'll just endure the pain, that is, if they still want me as a friend even.' James couldn't help but hold back a sob at the thought of losing not only a love, but his two best friends.

Sirius stirred a moment and James backed away from the bed, he did think he was ready to face them yet, after the decision he had just made. Sirius opened his eyes and blinked before sitting up and rubbing his eyes. James just stood there in the door, silent tears staining his face. Sirius spotted James in the doorway and was silent a moment before a huge grin spread across his face. It quickly disappeared when he realized James was crying.

"I-I hope that you guys are happy together." James's voice cracked and he nodded to Remus's sleeping figure before quickly slipping out the door.

Sirius confusedly looked to Remus before he realized what James was insinuating. "James! Wait!" Sirius called after him desperately. He threw himself out of the bed and down the hall after James.

He caught ahold of James's wrist on the stairs and pulled him back up to the landing. "James." He said firmly. "I am not with Remus, nor will I _ever_ be with Remus. I feel so horrible after what I put you through last night I don't even know what to do with myself." Sirius's mask slowly melted and he looked at James with anguish, his eyes pleading. "I don't want to loose you. Last night I wasn't thinking, and I just got so caught up in everything, and I was so scared, and I just, I didn't think about anything I was doing. I just love you SO much, and I didn't want things to be awkward between us, and I-I…" He stopped his rambling and looked James in the eyes. "Please don't hate. I don't think I could take that. And if you don't want to be with me, I get it, I just don't want to loose you as a friend either." Sirius finished his speech and took James's hands in his own. "James, please, I love you so much."

James just stood at the top of the stairs, speechless for a moment before choking out, "Is that brotherly love, or romantic love?"

Sirius's eyes widened before he threw his arms around James's neck. "Romantic! Definitely! Oh god James I was so worried about you last night! I love you so much!" Sirius drew back to look James in the face.

"You…you love me?" James asked, stunned.

"Of course I do." Sirius said calmly before bringing a hand up to cup James's cheek. "I love you more than anything. James Potter, will you be my one and only?"

Happy tears leaked from James's eyes, and he couldn't find his voice so he just nodded enthusiastically. Sirius smiled brightly and guided James face so it was barely an inch away. "Can I kiss you now?" He asked tentatively. James smiled widely before quickly closing the gap between them and kissing Sirius passionately.

Things got heated as Sirius's arms wound around James's waist and pulled James impossibly closer to him, while James's hands came up around Sirius's neck and toyed with the long hair there.

Sirius's lips on his felt even better than the previous night. Sirius shuddered as James swept his tongue across the seam in his lips, asking for entrance, which Sirius willingly gave. He moaned as James's tongue entered his mouth to tangle with his own. It felt amazing. James's hands moved to either side of Sirius's face as he kissed him with passion. He backed Sirius up against the wall of the hallway and pulled away from the kiss.

Sirius gave a whimper as he lost James's lips, but James gave him a sly smile before attacking Sirius's neck. He sucked on the skin underneath his ear. Licking, sucking and nipping down the beautiful expanse of skin which Sirius was giving him full access to as he tilted his head to the side.

"Damn." Sirius breathed. James lips felt like heaven as his collarbone was lavished with attention. "James." Sirius groaned out, pulling James's face back up to his own and pulling him into another passionate, open mouthed kiss. The heated make out session lasted a few more minutes before James felt something light bounce off the back of his head and he quickly turned around to see a pillow on the floor.

"Do you two really have to do that this early in the morning?" Remus asked with a laugh. "At least get a room, Pete looks as if he might puke. James looked over to the left to see Peter had exited the bathroom and stood looked very stunned if not slightly green.

"Sorry," James breathed out with a smile, "couldn't help it." He looked back a Sirius. "He's just so ravishable, ya know?" James asked, looking Sirius up and down hungrily. Sirius blushed.

"No, I don't know actually." Remus answered. "Common Pete lets go get breakfast. I don't think these hormonal idiots are going to stop any time soon." He muttered before walking down the stairs. Peter scurried after him a second later.

Sirius pulled James into the bedroom and pushed him up against the door as it closed. Planting a hard kiss on his lips. "Now that they're gone, I've got a ragging hard on that needs to be taken care of. Care to help me?" Asked coyly.

James took a moment to thank whatever gods existed that this was his life, before fallowing Sirius to the bed.


End file.
